Kübler-Ross Model: Typos in Tweets

We all do it.

Sometimes a tweet is mediocre. I won't care if it's got a mistake in it. But occasionally, there is a tweet that makes me laugh, literally out loud and it has to be perfect, but in my excitement I fumble through the furious thumb-typing on my phone or iPod and after it's posted, I step back in anticipation and read it for the first time. Lo and behold, a mother fucking, goddamn typo!!! I'm going to discuss the stages I go through when this happens:

Stage One:

Denial

What? No fucking way! I did not just post that with a missing letter! I must be reading this wrong!

Stage Two:

Anger

NO FUCKING WAY!! OMG!! I fucking hate you phone! You stupid piece of shit! ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!! FML!! Fuck it SO HARD!

Stage Three:

Bargaining

Please, for the love of all that is holy, please let no one have starred that yet!! I will stop swearing at children, if you'd just...no, I can't promise that...I'll stop looking up German porn on Bill's computer at work if you keep anyone else from starring that! I just need a little bit more time! I'll fix it and repost!!

Stage Four:

Depression

I don't deserve to live! What kind of idiot fucks up a golden tweet like that? Now everyone will think I'm an illiterate bastard!

Stage Five:

Acceptance

Well, it's up to 15 stars already...no one's gonna RT that hot mess. I've got to learn through this to proof read before I hit send. Composure, composure! Inhale..........and exhale. Sweet. Let's get drunker.

Gingers vs. Albinos

Let's run a little comparison between the two scariest types of humanoids, shall we? " Albinism is associated with a number of vision defects, such as photophobia, nystagmus and astigmatism. Lack of skin pigmentation makes the organism more susceptible to sunburn and skin cancers." (Wikipedia) "A human, characterized by pale skin, freckles and bright red hair. " Gingers " are generally considered to be inferior to their more melanin-rich brethren, and thus deservingly discriminated against. Gingers are thought to have no souls. The condition, " gingervitis " is genetic and incurable." (Urban Dictionary) Fact #1: Albinism is found outside the human species. In fact, albino animals are worth more to collectors; they are considered " rare " and " valuable ". Gingervitis is not found outside the human species. They are neither rare, nor valuable. Fact #2: "At least 53 albinos have been killed since 2007 in

I woke up to a text from my friend Mug. I got up, peed, then called her. I could hear in her voice she was an emotional wreck. I listened and tried to console her and when I got off the phone, I felt pretty okay. But later that evening, my true feelings found a way out through alcohol. Kim was always a whirlwind. She thrived on drama. She rescued dogs from cruel owners, she wore her heart on her sleeve, and she drank like she had a vendetta on her liver. I loved her like she was family. And she totally broke my heart. I met Kim on Twitter in 2012. It was a volatile year for me. My dad died in May and I lost my job in August. I used Twitter as an escape into a male character I created: IdaClayer. Kim was PuddingBoobs, a funny account with a cute donkey avatar. We hit it off right away and I was reluctant to tell her I wasn't a dude. I felt like I had been tricking her into imagining me as a funny, flirty guy, but she thought it was awesome that a woman ran that account. We k

Best of Craigslist 12-19-16

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No, seriously, you probably shouldn't read this.

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