Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Kübler-Ross Model: Typos in Tweets

We all do it.

Sometimes a tweet is mediocre. I won't care if it's got a mistake in it. But occasionally, there is a tweet that makes me laugh, literally out loud and it has to be perfect, but in my excitement I fumble through the furious thumb-typing on my phone or iPod and after it's posted, I step back in anticipation and read it for the first time. Lo and behold, a mother fucking, goddamn typo!!! I'm going to discuss the stages I go through when this happens:

Stage One:

Denial

What? No fucking way! I did not just post that with a missing letter! I must be reading this wrong!

Stage Two:

Anger

NO FUCKING WAY!! OMG!! I fucking hate you phone! You stupid piece of shit! ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!! FML!! Fuck it SO HARD!

Stage Three:

Bargaining

Please, for the love of all that is holy, please let no one have starred that yet!! I will stop swearing at children, if you'd just...no, I can't promise that...I'll stop looking up German porn on Bill's computer at work if you keep anyone else from starring that! I just need a little bit more time! I'll fix it and repost!!

Stage Four:

Depression

I don't deserve to live! What kind of idiot fucks up a golden tweet like that? Now everyone will think I'm an illiterate bastard!

Stage Five:

Acceptance

Well, it's up to 15 stars already...no one's gonna RT that hot mess. I've got to learn through this to proof read before I hit send. Composure, composure! Inhale..........and exhale. Sweet. Let's get drunker.