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Gingers vs. Albinos

Let's run a little comparison between the two scariest types of humanoids, shall we? " Albinism is associated with a number of vision defects, such as photophobia, nystagmus and astigmatism. Lack of skin pigmentation makes the organism more susceptible to sunburn and skin cancers." (Wikipedia) "A human, characterized by pale skin, freckles and bright red hair. " Gingers " are generally considered to be inferior to their more melanin-rich brethren, and thus deservingly discriminated against. Gingers are thought to have no souls. The condition, " gingervitis " is genetic and incurable." (Urban Dictionary) Fact #1: Albinism is found outside the human species. In fact, albino animals are worth more to collectors; they are considered " rare " and " valuable ". Gingervitis is not found outside the human species. They are neither rare, nor valuable. Fact #2: "At least 53 albinos have been killed since 2007 in...

I woke up to a text from my friend Mug. I got up, peed, then called her. I could hear in her voice she was an emotional wreck. I listened and tried to console her and when I got off the phone, I felt pretty okay. But later that evening, my true feelings found a way out through alcohol. Kim was always a whirlwind. She thrived on drama. She rescued dogs from cruel owners, she wore her heart on her sleeve, and she drank like she had a vendetta on her liver. I loved her like she was family. And she totally broke my heart. I met Kim on Twitter in 2012. It was a volatile year for me. My dad died in May and I lost my job in August. I used Twitter as an escape into a male character I created: IdaClayer. Kim was PuddingBoobs, a funny account with a cute donkey avatar. We hit it off right away and I was reluctant to tell her I wasn't a dude. I felt like I had been tricking her into imagining me as a funny, flirty guy, but she thought it was awesome that a woman ran that account. We k...

That Time I Saw a Hooker at a Sports Bar

A Horror Story Gather around, children, I want to tell you about the time I saw a hooker at Kegler's. It was after a WVU game and I'd finished having dinner with the fiancé's family at Los. I remember it well, because Eric had just told me that there were people that wanted to meet me (and that is a pretty rare occasion, so I figured I'd go and see how things played out before I shat on someone's expectations) and we headed over to Kegler's Sports Bar and Lounge . Now, Kegler's isn't a high class place, so I had no trouble getting in, but the place was packed post-game with already drunk people looking to get drunker and the staff was not having us crash a table when other people were waiting, so we had to take turns sitting in chairs in shifts so I could meet Eric's long-time friends, Jacob and Andy. Usually it takes me three beers to slip into my charming mode, so I worked on that while anxiously noting how awkwardly quiet the table was and...

No, seriously, you probably shouldn't read this.

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